All of the Grown Girl's Rules come from real life experiences. Some long ago, some more recent. Today, a story of young lady being abused by her boyfriend was brought to my attention. It started off small (if there is such a thing in abuse) but escalated with each incident. This young woman kept these incidents hidden from family and friends, as we usually do. But when the idiot destroyed her personal property, she decided to call someone. Slowly it surfaces that this is not his first act of violence towards her. Urged to file a report, she calls 911. She is advised that she can file two reports, one for domestic violence, for which he will NOT be arrested immediately, and the other for the damage to the property, for which he WOULD be arrested immediately.. She chose not to file the latter. WHOA! Stop! If there were any time appropriate for the sound of a record scratching, THIS IS IT!
So, up jumped the memories of my days as a victim of domestic abuse. I recall how much more worried I was about how I was going to replace my mother's door he broke before she got home from vacation. Or how I was going to fix the mirror he broke off the rental car in my name, or replace my Versace glasses or pay the credit card bill he ran up. My concern for the material damage always seemed to trump my concern for the damage he caused to me; often a pattern among victims of abuse.
As these memories surfaced, I realized that I used to think "my wounds will heal"...the black eyes will fade, the bleeding would stop, scars would heal...at least the physical ones, without any immediate cost. However, I was set on the amount of, or lack of, money that it would cost to replace those things . Of course he was quick to buy me new Versace glasses, shoes, even a car, to get back in my good graces. And I would promise myself that I would only stay long enough to get that credit card bill paid or that rental car fixed. Hmmm...whatever.
How do we care more about our property than we do ourselves and justify it at every turn? Why does our culture allow it? Think about it. Our law says you can damage a person physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, a few times before anyone pays attention. "Go ahead, fellas. Smack her around a bit...". Its like saying how many times can I hit this punching bag before it will cease to bounce back up. Or how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop. How many hits will a woman take before she blows him away??? But I digress. In other words, society says this is ok. But now, how dare you smash that 50 inch LCD TV! What a crime! Let's put you under the jail! Am I the only one who thinks something is awry?
A common statement of support to a victim of any abuse at the hand of her mate is "You don't have to take that! You're not a piece of property!" I only agree with half of that statement. If we put so much emphasis on "property", the things we have bought, paid for, then consider this.. Ladies, you are property, God's property, bought and paid for with a price that no one can match. If you paid for that TV with mere dollars and you're furious about someone damaging it imagine how God feels about someone damaging you. He created you out of His own spoken Word, in His own image. After creating man decided that the earth was still not complete so He designed you just so. And when you were deceived and pulled away, He paid the ultimate price, the life of His ONLY Son, just to have you near to Him again. There's no way on earth that you could believe that your dollars can amount to the life of Christ. Understanding that, you have to know just how special and extraordinary you are...that God would hold Adam accountable for your protection, give His Son, Jesus, to save you, give You his very own gift of giving life
Make no mistake. Men understand our worth more than we. That's why they try any and everything within their ability to get us, hold us, keep us, control us. They will buy you, beat you, love you, cry to you, fight for you, lie to you, risk their lives for you. Some only ever love one, some can't get enough. All for that woman's charm. God made you. The life of Christ was laid down for you. Men have started wars over you.
Ladies, the next time your utmost concern is protecting property, please let it be God's most prized and precious possession...YOU.
